More Updates

- This club that we frequent has drinking competitions once a night on Friday and Saturday nights. In one of my first blog posts, I mentioned that I was coaxed into one of these drinking competitions where people are five or so people are selected to have a chugging contest. Last night when they announced that they were selecting people, I tried to make this drunk ass Chinese guy who had given me a shot earlier go up on stage. My plan backfired when he and his friend practically pushed me on stage. But I went up against 4 or 5 Chinese guys and I ended up beating them (woo!). Then they had another round with different people. There is a Canadian named Tyler who ALWAYS ends up winning these competitions. I think he can just open up his throat and he just inhales beers in about 10 seconds. So Tyler went up and won his round and so it was just Tyler and me. I have no idea where they came from, but there were some Chinese Canadians (?) who were yelling "Fuck U.S.A.!!!" And then I said, "Barack Obama!!!" and they shut up for a second and shook my hand and then continued yelling "Fuck U.S.A.!!!" Anyway, the announcer said that it America vs. Canada which only encouraged more yelling from the Chinese Canadians. I lost pretty badly. Tyler finished his beer by the time I only finished half of mine. All in good fun and second place isn't half bad.

- I began this list in an e-mail to my Grandma and parents. It is a list of American food/drinks that I have been craving:

egg salad sandwiches
milkshakes
burgers
cheese (of all types)
breakfast everything (especially breakfast bagel sandwiches that have cheese, egg, bacon, and sausage)
sandwiches with a lot of shit on them (i.e. turkey with mustard, mayonnaise, onion, tomato, pickles, etc.)
thick, creamy American ice cream
BBQ meat
the salads I made at home
smoothies
coffee
pasta
whiskey
gin and club soda
GOOD beer (the beer here are all lagers and they have as low as 1.0% alcohol percentage up to around 4.0% alcohol percentage (ugh)...I'm going to start sticking to the rice liquor...less calories and much much more alcohol)

We can get pizza here so that's not on the list. But I could really go for some cream cheese pizza from Pizza Shuttle. Do they deliver to China?

Not surprisingly, I'm sure I've been losing weight while not being able to purchase or consume any of the aforementioned foods. I've also been working out about 4 or 5 days a week. I'm usually eating fruit for breakfast, rice and vegetables or noodles for lunch, and then bigger meals for dinner. I am one healthy foreigner.

- I don't think I have posted elsewhere...and I really can't believe I haven't. Similar to how we say "uh" or "um" when searching for words, the Chinese say, "Ne ge" or "Zhe ge" (mostly the former) which literally means "that one" and "this one", respectively. They say "Ne ge" ALL THE TIME. It is completely out of control. The funny part is, which some of you may have guessed by now, is that "Ne ge" sounds almost exactly like "nigga." It definitely caused all of us some confusion when we first got here.

- This happened a while ago, but I don't think I posted this. Of all the characters I've met so far in China, the most eccentric has been a Finnish guy named Klaus. This guy is fucking balls-to-the-wall crazy and a total dick (although I will admit it was fun hanging out with him if you were on his good side). My friend Jake says his problem is that "he has more money than he knows what to do with" but I think having 5 STDs (yes, he admitted this to Jake when he was drunk) and having an unhealthy obsession with Elvis Presley at least may not contribute to any sort of sanity. Whenever we went to karaoke with Klaus we knew one of two things were going to happen: 1. Klaus was going to hog the microphone, 2. Klaus was going to sing an obscene amount of Elvis while doing a great impression of The King. One particular night myself, Jake, Erik (Drake guy), Daniel, Klaus, and two of the Belarussian girls (Diana and Tanya) went to karaoke (KTV). As predicted, Klaus was hogging the microphone and being a dick. Erik and Klaus were being dicks to each other all night. Their personalities did not mesh well. Klaus kicked Erik while he was singing, Erik purposefully broke a cigarette that Klaus had offered, etc. Finally we were on our last song and Erik and Klaus were singing together. Erik attempted to put his arm over Klaus' shoulder but Klaus pushed him away and started yelling at him. Klaus, being versed in kickboxing and having a brief stint in the Finnish Navy could have beaten the living shit out of Erik. Instead, Klaus spit on Erik a number of times and called him a bunch of names ("You fucking American pig!!!"). The only reason Klaus didn't was because he could've gotten kicked out of the country. Quite an exciting night.

- The illustrious Michael Edward Day will be visiting these shores in a week and a 1/2. He will be subjected to absurd amounts of rice liquor, Chinese stares, "Hellos!", babies peeing on the sidewalk, edible chicken feet, and subsequently probably a lot of foul digestive problems. You're going to have so much fun Mikey!